Jam to Replace Cars as UK’s Key Export – Liam Fox

By Government of UK - https://www.gov.uk/government/people/liam-fox, OGL 3, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=50153876

Liam Fox. Set to appear on Robertsons Jam and Marmalade jars?

UK Trade and Investment has put jam and marmalade exports to France (so for the next two years) at the heart of it’s Brexit export strategy. The policy which will be personally overseen by The Disgraced Former Defence Secretary Dr Liam Fox and looks like a promising start to his probably short lived Ministerial career.

“UK companies should be aware that the quantities involved will be small at the very beginning.” (Source UKTI Website)

According to my own calculations, the UK could in theory replace the entire car industry with jam and marmalade exports. The UK exports around 16bn UKP of cars per year to the European Union. If we assume that these are high-end jam and marmalade products and will attract a price of around 2UKP per unit then the UK needs to export a mere 8bn jars to make up for potential loss of car exports. Assuming that all exports go to France as planned this would mean that each French resident would need to eat only 121 jars of British jam or marmalade per year to make up for the lack of car exports. Brexit supporter Marine Le Pen has already pledged to make it one of her policies should she win.

The UK of course is no stranger to controversies surrounding jam and marmalade. During the 80s and 90s Robertson’s marmalade attracted significant controversy by using Golliwog images on it jars. To be fair to Robertson’s they always insisted it was never intended to be racist and a Scottish Borders town paid a high price when a number of people dressed up as the marmalade character during a local parade. However, it clearly caused offence to some people either on jars or  when discussed in the workplace. So it was really a good idea to get rid of it. One can only imagine that such images will make a comeback in Brexit Britain as it’s those who hate political correctness that won the referendum and are subsequently in charge. The question is will Robertson’s give The Disgraced Former Defence Secretary Dr Liam Fox the place he deserves on the jars?

At present the UK Government is believed to be in discussion with Nissan and Honda on upgrading their car plants to allow for the manufacturer of high-end jams and marmalades.

This rather sarcastic article aside. Any SME owner who has worked hard and not spent the afternoon at the golf course who manages to take advantage of this export opportunity should be rewarded for their efforts! But as The Disgraced Former Defence Secretary Dr Liam Fox said British business owners are all too fat and spend Friday afternoon on the golf course, so I am not overly optimistic. Anyway good luck we need all the exports we can get right now, so go for it jam makers! The UK is no stranger to jam and marmalade and I have to say does make some of the best stuff on earth!

Frankly if we can’t call The Disgraced Former Defence Secretary Dr Liam Fox an idiot it is simply political correctness gone mad.

Correction: I would like to thank Botty McBotface (Twitter: @hqua) for correcting my earlier description of Liam Fox. He should correctly be referred to as “The Disgraced Former Defence Secretary Dr Liam Fox” and not as earlier reported “Liam Fox”. Apologies for this factual inaccuracy.

About Rod McCall

Rod McCall is a researcher in the field of human-computer interaction in areas such as augmented reality, mobile gaming in-car systems and virtual environments. He has a passing interest in economics after not being entirely convinced by the rubbish presented as fact during lectures on that particular subject while at uni.
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